Then, during service, I looked out and saw all those grown lambs looking to me for leadership and words of grace. These lambs have no idea (or at least little idea) about all the fuss brewing on my back burners. They haven't heard all the detailed panic and woe of the leadership or the budget crisis. They came to church on a Sunday morning. They came to worship and to share their faith with their brothers and sisters in Christ. As I stood before them, the resounding message was clear - I'm called to pastor this flock. The entire flock. And the other resounding message was equally clear - forget the frustrations and the challenges and the worries that weigh me down and live out the call. Truly live it. Live it and breathe it and trust God with the rest.
After service, I headed to the ICU of a hospital about 30 miles away. A family who has had one hell of a year has someone in the hospital. Since I arrived, challenge after challenge has arrived at their doorstep. "Pastor Skdo, no other pastor has ever had time for our family." These words were spoken by a crying parishoner's daughter in the ICU waiting room. She was crying because she'd been judged, admonished, called into question harshly and then ignored. Her story, which I believe is true and accurate, is heartwrenching. Even if only 10% of her story were accurate, what happened was still unfortunate and unnecessary.
I'm not sure what I feel more strongly: assured that I've been used by God to bring God's love, reconciliation and grace to those most in need or ashamed to be in the same profession as some of my colleagues.
1 comment:
On the clergy issue, yeah, that sucks. It's one thing to be not-so-gifted at pastoral care (my personal affliction). It's another thing to be actually damaging people. Yeesh.
On the trust and pastoring thing: you'll not only be doing your job, you'll be modeling true faith for your people in the meantime. Keep on keepin' on!
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