Tuesday, October 24, 2006

If we couldn't laugh, we'd all go insane

In Santa Barbara, a bad business deal involves losing hundreds of thousands of dollars.
In Dubuque, it's realizing Shopko had the same product that you just bought at Target.

In Santa Barbara, great live music involves heading to the Bowl in shorts and a tank top wondering if David Crosby will randomly appear on stage again tonight.
In Dubuque, it's seeing the bank's tellers singing Christmas Carols in the lobby.

In Santa Barbara, grabbing some java is just a given part of any excursion.
In Dubuque, going to coffee is the excursion.

In Santa Barbara, the gate agent tells you that if she loved her cats any more than she does, it would be illegal.
In Dubuque, the gate agent says, "Oh my, great weather today ya know," when it's 28 degrees and sunny.

In Santa Barbara, your real estate agent shows up for your open house in their Mercedes and wears surfer shorts and a faded red t-shirt.
In Dubuque, your agent goes to Younkers the day before your open house to pick up one of their sensible $29 suits and shows up in a Chevy Lumina or an American minivan.

In Santa Barbara, the taxi driver tells you he's moving 1/2 hour away into a nice one bedroom, 700 square foot bungalow with parking because he can get it for only $1600/month.
In Dubuque, do they have taxis in Dubuque?

In Santa Barbara, people live on the mesa or in the valley
In Dubuque, people live off the county road or "up the way"

In Santa Barbara, you can find respite at Mission Santa Barbara.

In Dubuque, you can go to the Dickeyville Grotto.

In Santa Barbara, you watch out for pedestrians and hurried drivers.

In Dubuque, you watch out for deer, racoons and the occasional groundhog.

In Santa Barbara, men buy Beamers or Mercedes as they enter their midlife crisis.
In Dubuque, men buy Ford F150s without the king cab (after all, it's time for a 2 seater, Ma).

In Santa Barbara, the Homeland Security agent cracks up laughing in response when you say, "Oh yeah...just a little firmer and down to the right" as she pats you down for the random extra security check.
In Dubuque, the Homeland Security agent would likely say nothing at all but would think "ohhh my" and find the comment interesting as they avoided eye contact.
[Bonus: In Portland, there's no talking to Homeland Security! You'd be detained for crossing the line!]

In Santa Barbara, baggage claim is outside.

In Dubuque, baggage claim is inside on this teeny tiny conveyor that looks like a PriceCostco display for big boy airport baggage claims.

In Santa Barbara, diversity reigns - many languages are spoken & heard, skin colors range, men walk down the street arm and arm and nobody thinks twice about it.
In Dubuque, diversity means someone who dresses like me.


Susan Miller said...

In a home with one kid I would spend Tuesday night kicked back, chilling with my homey.
In a home with three kids I'm trying to figure out how to be in at least two places at once.

Glad to see you made it home!

mark said...

i'm glad you threw in the line about groundhogs. shana is sure to get a kick out of that.

Skdo said...

Yeah, it was an afterthought - don't think she's seen this version yet.

shana said...


but also, nice work on the colors. ;)