200 Posts

Here we are – 200 posts! Since my 100 post commemoration was so well received, I'm going to do another 100 post milestone: 100 things I've learned since ordination. I'm guessing I've probably learned 200 things but 100 seems good enough. We'll begin where we left off, and it will have to be a running list because I can’t seem to come up with 100 things just now.

100 things I've learned since ordination:

1. Bringing your dog to work will offend the sensibilities of some quilting ladies.
2. Bringing your dog to work will make the secretary's day...and the dog's.
3. The church staff members are my greatest supporters and cheerleaders.
4. You will have favorite parishioners. Just try to not let it show.
5. As Brink of Disaster once said, "The problem isn't that your church members expect you to work 24/7...the challenge is that you love the job so much it's hard to go home."
6. At first, being on call 365-24-7 seems heavy and demanding. After awhile, you get used to it.
7. My boys are amazing PKs. They have graciously become used to hanging out in the ICU waiting room at the local hospital when I receive an emergency call and they have to tag along.
8. If your husband commutes, does not attend church, or does anything out of the ordinary, people will talk.
9. People will drive past your house to see where the pastor lives.
10. People will notice if (a) a neighbor mows your lawn or shovels your driveway, (b) you finally remove all your moving boxes off the front porch, and (c) your child spray paints your driveway and front porch bright blue.
11. The amount of automatic respect afforded a small town pastor is mind-blowing.
12. I have come to treasure and love my faraway friends more deeply.
13. Being a big city girl in a small town is not all bad, but, yes, sometimes it is the pits. Especially when you need a Target fix.
14. Being able to walk to work affords me the luxury of 10 uninterrupted minutes each way.
15. You know you hit too many library book sales in seminary when your pastoral library does not fit on the same shelves that were sufficient for your predecessors who had been in the ministry far longer than you.
16. A passing and seemingly innocuous environmentalist comment at dinner will send the church ladies scurrying to the kitchen to cross “styrofoam cups” off their shopping list.
17. Following well loved predecessors is actually a good thing – people will instantly respect and love you unless you give them reason not to.
18. I never could have predicted how deeply a visit to the Castle would restore and renew me.
19. To some people, your first name is now “pastor” whether you like it or not.
20. When you worship on vacation, you will turn in unconscious response when a parishoner calls out, “Pastor!”
21. The amount of junk mail sent to churches is horrendous. Plant a tree a month during your entire ministry and you may just be able to put a small dent in the number of trees killed for the junk mail crossing your desk.
22. Having your long-term predecessor in the congregation can actually be handy, especially when your most immediate predecessor assigned a lay person new to the congregation to be in charge of the church database (and thus determining things like newsletter recipients, active and inactive members, etc.).
23. I’ve always treasured and loved my husband, but I’ve come to appreciate him even more in the last few months.
24. While parishioners will basically respect your privacy, somehow they will all come by your home on the days you choose to not get out of your PJs.
25. Teaching confirmation is more fun than anyone should be paid to have.
26. Some colleagues will treat you like you know nothing and will label your words and actions as “typical first call” acts. This says far more about them than it does about you.
27. Assuming your gut resonates with the insights, rely on the wisdom of your text study and area colleagues and seek their input when you have no idea what to do.
28. First call is like parenting: remember to check your actions with your gut and to follow your gut over some generic suggestion in a book.
29. There will be times when you wonder what the heck your predecessors preached, taught or said. Hold your tongue and listen instead of responding. Chances are what they preached, taught or said was misunderstood and is not what was actually preached, taught, or said.
    
30. Express appreciation and say “thank you” far more than you think is necessary.
31. Constantly remind people they are treasured, loved and held by a gracious God.
32. Those who reject the message above just need to hear it more.
33. When your husband suggests that EVERY box be unpacked within a month after the latest move, STOP HIM! Do not pass Go, Do not collect $200. Bad idea. You will still have crap all over the house, it just won’t be in boxes.
34. Buying a house that needs a little work and a little redecorating is great, but becomes a burden when your husband is away 4-5 days a week and you’re working as a pastor.
35. When people share news with you, keep in mind they may be exaggerating. Grandma may very well not be on the brink of death, the parking lot may or may not be “full of nails” from the recent re-roofing efforts, and not everyone is reacting to your latest sermon, hymn choices or movement of the baptismal font.
36. You will learn to embody grace when expected to participate in the ecumenical services led by area colleagues…especially the week the local fundy pastor is in charge.
37. In the past four months, I’ve continued to see that my Buddhist husband is still a “better Christian” than many of the Christians I know.
38. Rats actually make amazing, lovable pets.
39. Let the machine screen all calls.
40. Never read unsigned notes.
41. Don’t think about it, just live it. You can think about it later. (This was my brother Mark’s preordination wisdom)
42. The laying on of hands is almost as cool when you’re one of the pastor’s doing it as it was when you were the recipient.
43. There is a lot of weird piety at work in the world.
44. I have come to appreciate the love, forgiveness and grace of God in new ways.
45. Voicing the realities of pastoral life is freeing.
46. My super awesome Spiritual Director is essential to my sanity, sense of self and sense of identity as a beloved child of God.
47. I always thought I’d have a way with depressed parishoiners, having struggled with depression personally. Instead, I have found it draining and disheartening. I continue to work on this one…
48. The scrapbook store in the large town about 30 minutes away is full of crabby employees. The one in the small town about 15 minutes away is AWESOME!
49. When we adopted our dog, I intended to walk him everyday. Instead, I have found that his ready smile and patient laying-at-my-feet is an embodiment of God’s grace (photo by Minky).
50. Getting out of town once in awhile restores my soul and my perspective.
51. Keeping up on my blog and finding time to write is not easy.
52. According to a parishoiner's Islamic son, it is Islamic practice to not shake hands or have bodily contact with anyone who is not immediate family.
53. My altar guild ladies love that left over communion bread turns into "Jesus sandwiches" in our home each Sunday afternoon.
54. Attempting to preach and lead worship after walking to church in allergen-laden air is incredibly difficult.