Why I can never be an Optimist

This morning, the Jerusalem Optimists invited me to speak and introduce myself. They've been asking me to come to speak at one of their 7 a.m. meetings since I moved here, but motherhood has trumped my morning availability to community groups. Now that Rab is home with the kids, I was available. So at 6:15 a.m. (ugh), my alarm went off and I dragged myself out of bed very unenthusiastically. Even the dog thought it was too early. He actually glared at me with bags under his eyes when I suggested he get out of his kennel and go outside.
I arrived at the meeting and was met warmly (how else would a group of optimists welcome a guest?). They were a lovely group of people exuding enthusiasm and joy. They began their meeting with the Pledge of Allegiance and then the Optimist Creed. I was already pretty sure I couldn't join any group that chose to meet at 7 a.m., but I was reluctantly willing to consider it at least briefly. Yet upon hearing the creed, I was sure I could never join the club.

...To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong
for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

Call me idealist or a realist or a skeptic or a Lutheran theologian. I'll take any of those labels on. But to think that I can possibly be too large for worry, too noble for anger, etc., etc. is to attempt to live in great denial of life's realities. I'm angry that there are starving people in the world while others dine at the Ritz and I think that's noble. I worry about how my shy 11 year old will adjust to middle school and I think that makes me a large hearted mama. I fear snakes and my 8 year old's future in life, and I am still a strong woman.
It just seemed too Pleasantville for me. Life is not black and white. To live in denial of worry, anger, fear or trouble makes me prone to mental illness not optimism. I understand that these folks are wonderfully engaged in the community and that they make a positive difference in the world. I applaud their efforts, but not their creed. Maybe I'm onto something....or maybe I just need a nap.