Why I can never be an Optimist

This morning, the Jerusalem Optimists invited me to speak and introduce myself. They've been asking me to come to speak at one of their 7 a.m. meetings since I moved here, but motherhood has trumped my morning availability to community groups. Now that Rab is home with the kids, I was available. So at 6:15 a.m. (ugh), my alarm went off and I dragged myself out of bed very unenthusiastically. Even the dog thought it was too early. He actually glared at me with bags under his eyes when I suggested he get out of his kennel and go outside.
I arrived at the meeting and was met warmly (how else would a group of optimists welcome a guest?). They were a lovely group of people exuding enthusiasm and joy. They began their meeting with the Pledge of Allegiance and then the Optimist Creed. I was already pretty sure I couldn't join any group that chose to meet at 7 a.m., but I was reluctantly willing to consider it at least briefly. Yet upon hearing the creed, I was sure I could never join the club.

...To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong
for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

Call me idealist or a realist or a skeptic or a Lutheran theologian. I'll take any of those labels on. But to think that I can possibly be too large for worry, too noble for anger, etc., etc. is to attempt to live in great denial of life's realities. I'm angry that there are starving people in the world while others dine at the Ritz and I think that's noble. I worry about how my shy 11 year old will adjust to middle school and I think that makes me a large hearted mama. I fear snakes and my 8 year old's future in life, and I am still a strong woman.
It just seemed too Pleasantville for me. Life is not black and white. To live in denial of worry, anger, fear or trouble makes me prone to mental illness not optimism. I understand that these folks are wonderfully engaged in the community and that they make a positive difference in the world. I applaud their efforts, but not their creed. Maybe I'm onto something....or maybe I just need a nap.

Wounded Butterfly

On Navy Pier the other night, as Southern Wisdom and I shared our stories and souls, a butterfly came soaring out of nowhere. I thought it was a bat at first - a deceptive first impression. Then I looked again.

I looked down at my feet and saw a wounded butterfly. It was hobbling around. It could no longer fly. It flapped its wings energetically but helplessly. This formerly vibrant butterfly wouldn't give up. It garnered the attention of the collected people at the cafe tables along the lake - everyone's souls seem to sink as they watched it. Nobody did anything to help it - none of us seemed to be sure how we might be able to help.

I can't get that butterfly out of my mind. And, strangely, the timing of its interruption could not have been more metaphorically fitting to the topic of our conversation.

Is the Weekend Over Yet?

This weekend, Cartoon Network has hosted a million hour marathon of every Naruto episode ever made. The last one just aired. Thank God. That's all that's been on our TVs. Even Rab has been hooked.

Maybe I Should Move to the UCC

During the summer, my UCC colleague and I share the preaching load. From July 4 - Labor Day, we split the Sundays and each preach at both our own and the other's church on our assigned Sundays. It's a great ecumenical experience that saves our churches some money, gives us a nice break and helps the congregations know the pastor who usually provides vacation coverage.

This morning, preaching Luke 12:49-56 was an interesting experience. The sermon, like the text, was more law based than most. The sermon was peppered with my dry humor and musings on reality. My own folks never laughed - a small few may have leaned their head back and shrugged their shoulders in a "I find that funny enough to move but not funny enough to make a noise" kind of way. The UCC congregation cracked up left and right (and they were laughing with me, not at me).

I'm not sure what to make of the experience, but it does cause me to once again (and this time lightly and only in jest) consider whether or not the Lutheran church is the place for me to be serving. Lutheran theology is a given - I love it, breathe it and attempt to live it. Yet, sometimes I cannot help but wonder if that candidacy psychologist was correct when she said, "You're an ENFP?! Lutherans aren't ENFPs?!?!" Can a Lutheran ENFP lead a group of whatever letters Lutherans typically are? I've always thought so, but now I'm clear that the Lutherans may not get ENFP humor and I'm not sure what to make of that. Maybe the UCC is made up of ENFPs.

I feel so cosmopolitan

On the way home today, I acquired an iPass. No more fumbling for change, no more slowing down to wait in line to pay a toll on I-90. What freedom!

It felt great to just cruise on by each of those toll stations without slowing down. Yep, you're right, it doesn't take much to make my day.

I might just need to go to Chicago more often.

A Breeze Blowing from the East

What a great time. What a lovely night. I finally made it to Chicago around 3:15. Southern Wisdom had a meeting in the hotel lobby at 3:30, so I sorted briefcase contents and began this Sunday's sermon in the room (This week's text is a pistol by the way.).

Around 5:00 or so, SW returned and we were free for the night. Heading into downtown, we were faced with surprisingly little traffic. Ahhh...it felt good to head to the city, to drive in traffic, to feel again. Home. There's just something about the city that fills me and makes it easier for me to simply breathe and be in the moment. Call me crazy - I know most people experience this away from the big city. For me, though, it's one of two extremes: the beach or the highrises - the two places I can be and feel fully myself.

We arrived downtown and, because I'm both stubborn and cheap, we circled and circled attempting to find a meter or an empty spot. We finally found one after about 20 minutes of Israelite-like driving around and near our destination. The journey to find our spot made the big city experience a full one. During our circling of roughly 8 or so blocks, we saw:

• two 20-something guys in business suits threaten each other physically for a parking spot
• a handsome 40-something man with a tight, square jaw and a lime green tie who Southern Wisdom was sure would be a fabulous dinner guest
  
• a guy getting arrested while his confused and helpless friends scratched their heads in amazement
• a bus come within inches of my driver's side mirror as it turned into my lane and the adjacent lane
• a couple doing what should only be done in private, and
  a near collision as one car attempted to turn left on an orange (not quite yellow anymore) light.

Like I said earlier, there's nothing like the city.

I took Southern Wisdom to Ed Debevic's. She enjoyed it, although I was a bit disappointed in our fairly tame waiter. Near the end of the meal, he made my day when he apologized for something and SW said, "I thought you were all supposed to be ornery around here." He just smiled and I interjected, "I brought her here for a dose of good ole Chicago charm - she's from the South." At which point, he bellowed to the entire restaurant, "Hey y'all...this lady is from the South. Let's all give her a big 'Howdy y'all!!' and the restaurant patrons obliged loudly and enthusiastically. SW promised her revenge would come later. But she's all words....it never did.

After Ed's, we drove up Michigan Avenue so she could at least experience it by sight (most everything was closed by the time we were done at Ed's). It was full of people and activity and was fun to cruise. Oh my...I just realized that my nearly-40 friend and I just cruised as an activity on a Thursday night. We really need to get out more. Anyway, I digress. After our tour of Michigan Avenue, we headed to Navy Pier.

I'd never been to Navy Pier and I'd heard from many folks that it was just a big ole tourist trap. Yes, it's true we paid $16 for parking. It's true that the place was populated by tourists. It's also true that there were a million shops all selling Chicago wares. But so what? There was also a live band playing outside, a bunch of chairs right along the lake inviting us to sit and talk, a perfect 70 or so degree night, and an absolutely amazing view of the Chicago skyline. We sat and talked for hours, sharing our hearts and worries and fears and wonderments. I'm so lucky to have SW, a trustworthy, intuitive and insightful woman, as a friend. We had an absolutely wonderful time on that tourist trap pier and, in retrospect, neither of us would have chosen any other venue for our re-connecting, hours-long conversation. Life is good.

Windy City, Here I Come!

YAY! Tomorrow, Southern Wisdom arrives in Chicago and I get to see her and spend time with her! I can't wait. She arrives at 2pm, so we should be able to hit all kinds of fun spots. I'm thinking of taking her to Ed Debevic's for dinner - so not a Southern type place. She thought it sounded great. We'll probably also hit good ole Michigan Ave. We won't be able to go to my favorite Chicago breakfast haunt, Oak Tree, because she has a meeting at HQ on Friday am. Oh well, we'll still have a great time reconnecting, laughing, and adventuring.

Tonight, Ozzie and Harriett's kids are staying the night. All four kids are in Denver Court level paradise. It's fun to see them all so jubilant and full of excitement. Rab and I had a great time catching up with O & H when they dropped the kids off - we just wish we'd had more time to talk and commiserate. We really need to plan previous-dwellers-of-Denver-Court reunions more often.

Pray for Me

Jerusalem had their town festival this weekend. On our walk downtown (Yep, we're close enough to walk), we stopped at the library book sale. In addition to a bunch of books for Minky, Sony found a new book and Rab found a few too. To round us off to the $1.00 mark (the bargain price was 10 books for a buck), I picked up a copy of Marcia Clark's memoirs of the OJ trial. I'm hooked. I'm embarrassed to admit that I'm having a hard time putting it down. I can't wait to find out how it ends...

Simpsonized Family

Instead of watching the Today Show after the last post, the fam gathered around the computer and Simpsonized ourselves. Nothing like a little Friday morning family bonding. Here are the results:

Day 5 of VBS, 2 sermons and a loaded council agenda

Here in Jerusalem, we've turned country this week. Our VBS theme, Avalanche Ranch, has been littered with bad Southern accents, tons of food, and a bevy of willing and enthusiastic volunteers (if only the Stewardship committee could be so enthused....). 65 kids come through our doors each night - the most Jordan has seen in a long time. It's exciting to see all the frenzy and flurry - especially the frenzy of panicking kitchen staff who exclaimed on Monday, "There are too many kids!!!" I walked through the kitchen just in time to hear that comment and responded with glee, "What a wonderful problem!! Too many kids in the church - I hope that problem never goes away!" My comment was met with confused and bewildered stares.

With a VBS service and an I-hate-children-who-don't-sit-silently-in-worship prayer service this week, I have two very different sermons to prepare on two different texts. As I sat down to write yesterday, I thanked the Holy Spirit as I noticed that the theme of each text is fairly similar: our unpredictible God and the call to live in faith nonetheless. Last week, the sermon was about whether we live in faith or in fear.

Next Monday, we have Church Council. A look at the agenda causes me to wonder if we'll all still be there next Wednesday. There are 16 items for old and new business - all topics that the President and I agree need to be addressed this month.

On the homefront, Rab is fulfilling the role of stay at home dad this month. Minky's meds have been a bit off kilter and we decided that it was worth the financial sacrifice to have Rab home keeping Minky's life stable and predictible. While we still believe this to be true, it's hard when push comes to shove and we find ourselves with mounting bills and down to one car because we can't afford a new tire for the truck. Thank God for a mother-in-law who takes pity on our plight and sent money for a new tire.

We found out yesterday that Minky's beloved psychologist is not on our insurance (we thought he was), so we now owe over $1000 that our "out of network" coverage will not pay and we are on the hunt for a new psychologist. This is just what Minky needs: another transition in his life. I absolutely hate insurance companies and their rules and loopholes. Even with what many would consider great insurance, we have consistently spent between $7,000-$10,000 annually for Minky's uncovered medical care. Such insanity.

So that's what's going on here in Jerusalem. I suppose I should get back to watching the Today Show and sipping coffee on this partial day off. Then I'll need to gear up for the final day of speaking with a corny and probably bad Southern accent.

I Really Should Be Writing My Sermon

Instead, I'm finding out what I'd look like as a Simpson's character.

Facebook is dangerous, addicting and wonderful

In the past week, I think I've spent over 6 hours on Facebook. This doesn't include time spent on the myfamily.com site for my graduating class, time spent on MySpace, and time spent with Cafe Mom (yeah...thanks for that, Bluejeangirl!).

In my well spent hours, I have sent and received flowers and other items for my garden, found old friends from The Other Seminary, found out that John and I are wayyyyyy too similar, and learned that there are far too many fun timewasters on Facebook.

I need a life....or at least some friends in the same town.

Why I Love Buffett Concerts

1. Nobody thinks twice of offering an upset woman a ride when her husband is flipping out.
2. Neighbors in the jammed post-concert parking lot are more than happy to pull up an extra chair, grab an extra dessert, pour you a cup of coffee, and invite you to sit down and chat as if you're an old friend while you all wait for the traffic to clear.
   
3. If you find a dropped cell phone on the stairs, the person who dropped it is fairly sure that when they call, you'll be willing to find them in the overly-crowded mass of people and return it.
   
4. A guy you meet in the will call line is more than willing to give you his extra backstage passes when you tell him the story about how your connection didn't come through.
   
5. Sitting in the lawn is a positive, fun, joyful experience full of people who want to set the rest of life aside for awhile and enjoy the experience.
   
6. Being a parrothead means using your husband's backstage pass to take the nice lady next to you to the backstage bathroom so neither of you have to wait in line.

Come Monday, It'll Be All Right?

24 hours ago: Waiting for Jimmy Buffett to come on stage
23 hours ago: Soaking in every moment of a great concert

12 hours ago: People watching with Rab on the Magnificent Mile and watching the sleepy city begin to stir
10 hours ago: Having a great breakfast with friends

4 hours ago: Looking at and attemping to avoid the stack of bills on the dining room table
3 hours ago: Sitting in the ER with Minky who had ripped his toe apart with a stick (all will be ok)

I want to go back to Margaritaville!

More Minky Adventures

Yesterday, an hour or so outside of Portland, Minky became a bit stir crazy. He asked for a pen and, assuming the best (what's wrong with me!), I gave him one. By the time we arrived at Rab's mom's, Minky had completely covered himself in ink - arms, hands, shoes, legs.... at least he's been swimming non-stop since we arrived. I'm sure the chlorine will eat the ink away. Click on the photo below to get a sense of the event. The shirt was particularly fitting that day.

Today for lunch, Minky decided that instead of a slice of cheese pizza or a peanut butter sandwich, he'd have a slice of peanut butter pizza. Yum.

Pictures from the Trip

For some reason, posting pictures to the last post became tricky. Instead, here are some pics and links from our adventures thus far.

The Badlands
Corn Palace, Mitchell, South Dakota

Yellowstone National Park
Bear Country

Mount Rushmore
Reptile Gardens

Cooke City, Montana
Needles Highway

Flintstone Village
Devils Tower

Our Trip So Far (pre-accident!)

We set out Tuesday for our 3 week family vacation. After an appointment in the big city, we headed North to see Mark and his 3 legged dog, Pogo. On the way there, our brakes began to make ungodly noises but we made it there safe and sound. The boys were so thrilled to see the duo and they sheepishly presented Mark with a copy of Uncle Jim’s song, “I am a Three Legged Dog” just for Pogo. What a wonderful night of catching up as well as simply enjoying each others' company. It was great to reconnect.

Wednesday was 4th of July. We determined that we’d might as well continue the drive to Custer, South Dakota as planned, regardless of the strange brake noises. Of course, the noises became more and more ungodly as the day progressed. But we didn’t let it dampen our spirits or our plans. Instead, we wound our way around South Dakota in true tourist style, stopping at the Corn Palace (corny and cheesy), Wall Drug and the Badlands. At the Corn Palace, we spent more money on two servings of Dippin’ Dots than on lunch for the whole family. As we ate, though, we got to hear one gift store worker talking to our cook/cashier/waiter/new friend. The worker shared her tale of disbelief at tourist antics, telling us how one woman asked to go through each box in the store in search of the correct sized T-shirt for her overly indulged child. The lady looked for over an hour and finally found the shirt.

By the time we arrived in the Badlands, the boys were ready to get out of the van and move. Luckily, the Badlands have ample room for rogue children. What an amazing sight. When we finally reached the end of the Badlands road and found ourselves in Wall, South Dakota, Minky was on the verge of an over-tired, over-hungry meltdown. Needless to say, the Wall Drug experience left me yearning for drugs – Xanax, Valium, any form of sedation would do…

After 45 minutes of nail biting indecision in the gift store, Minky chose a sligshot and Sony picked out a pirate super ball that lit up when bounced. We were on our way, squeaky brakes and all. We arrived in Custer late Wednesday night, after an adventurous drive through Custer State Park where Rab drove 35 mph and I hollered “left” “right” “two on right” “up the hill” as I spotted deer after deer alongside the road.

The next morning found us with a very full agenda, a limited amount of time, and a hostess from Heaven (HFH). I had stayed at HFH’s hotel a few weeks ago when I came to Custer for Small Town Girl’s ordination. HFH is an adorable lady and it was wonderful to see her again. Rab and I asked her for suggestions on mechanics, preferably one who could help us that day and she suggested two. Rab called the first one and the owner was currently out of the office. The person Rab spoke to was not sure if they could squeeze us in. Rab called the second shop, DJ’s Service and connected with Ski the magician. Ski said he could help us out around 4pm as long as we picked up the parts and brought them with us.

Given the choice between relatively flat roads toward Rapid City and the twisty, windy roads of Needles Highway and Mt Rushmore, we decided to visit Reptile Gardens and Bear Country before taking the van to Ski. Both venues were wonderfully touristy and full of animals. The boys loved them. Afterward, we headed back to Custer and Rab dropped the boys and I off at Flintstone Village. I’d love to say we stopped here for the kids’ sake, but I must admit this stop was all for me. Luckily, the boys humored me and managed to have a great time at the most wonderfully cheesy stop of the trip. It was awesome! It is probably a good thing that Rab went to Ski’s while we played in Bedrock. I think the village may have been just a touch too tacky for Rab. But, again, I loved it!

Rab had his own wonderful experience with the van. Ski not only fixed it in less than an hour, he also charged us the “friends and family” rate because Rab had mentioned that he’d hoped we’d make it to Oregon where my dad’s shop could fix the brakes. Then Rab found out that DJ’s Service stands for “Doing Jesus’ Service.” Ski, it turns out is an angel as well as a mechanic.

Thursday afternoon and evening came to a close after a trip through the Needles Highway, the Custer State Park Nature Loop and a 10:15 pm drive by of Mount Rushmore. At the Nature Loop, we were able to experience a herd of bison as they crossed the street and headed to wherever bison head at the end of the day. Listening to them grunt and snort and talk to one another was somehow holy and magical. It reminded me of the experience of listening to whales. It was truly incredible and awe inspiriting.

Friday morning, we headed to Mt Rushmore, which was actually cooler than I’d anticipated. If you ever go there, take time to walk down to the Artist’s Studio where there’s a large model of the original plans, a ranger talk, and a great bookstore. That one stop was the highlight of the stop. After our patriotic experience, it was off to Devil’s Tower in eastern Wyoming. The pictures made it look like a big giant rock in the middle of the prairie. I went along with the plan because Rab seldom asks for any particular stops along the journey. After 17 years of being married to this fairly consistent, easy-going guy, I saw no need to argue with a detour to a big rock in the prairie. Besides…it allowed us to use our National Park Pass once again thus making the $80 purchase even more worth the price.

It turns out that the Big Rock in the Middle of the Prairie actually was pretty cool. It too had a holy quality to it. For many, many years, this rock has been the subject of many legends. Many of the stories involve the idea that a bear created the rugged sides of the rock. Speaking of bears, our day ended with a climbing drive up 10,000’+ Bear Claw Pass, a winding, twisting, turning highway leading to Cooke City, Montana and the Northeast entrance to Yellowstone. I think I’m glad we drove the pass in the dark of night – some of the postcards for the Pass have the words “Don’t look down!” on the pictures. It’s a pretty sharp, jaggedy and cliff-like road.

We spent Friday and Saturday night in Cooke City, Montana. The place gets approximately 220” of snow a year –definitely not the place for me! In the summertime, though, it is lovely and bustling with visitors. It seemed like everyone we saw had a dog and Minky needed to introduce himself to each of them (the dogs, that is). He had pictures taken with the largest (a St Bernard) and the smallest (a dachshund) dogs of Cooke City. A few more pictures with other people’s pets and we could make it into a calendar.

Yellowstone was amazing. There really is no way to briefly describe the experience. We saw loads of bison, many magpies, lots of ground squirrels, a lone coyote, and a fair share of elk and deer. At one point, we were within about 30 feet of a grizzly (EEK but COOL!). The falls and springs and Old Faithful were all wonderful. I only wish we’d had time to simply be in the moment rather than going from one sight to the next to the next. There were glimpses of peace and serenity, mostly sprinkled alongside Minky’s borderline fits and quick lunches of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and fruit.

Your Yellowstone Trivia for the Day

Driving through Yellowstone National Park, I exclaimed: “Look boys – there’s some bison!” TT responsed: “Hmmm…looks like buffalo to me.” Funny enough, just that morning, Rab and Sony had read the “Yellowstone Trivia” on the restaurant placemat. According to the as-reliable-as-the-internet placemat, there are only bison in North America – buffalo live in Africa and Asia. Also on the placemat, the only crown jewel from North America is a Montana Sapphire.

Minky's Take on Monty Python

As we were driving, TT exclaimed in Monty Python style, “Bring out your dad! Bring out your dad!” We all began laughing and TT responded, “Honestly, that’s what I thought they were saying the first time I watched it.”

Family Vacation Adventures

Last night's plan had been to update you on our cross-country travels. But instead of sharing stories and insights about seeing Mark, visiting the Badlands and Black Hills, experiencing Yellowstone (complete with a grizzly sighting!!) and the Grand Tetons, today's post is brief.

We had a bit of an adventure last night in Twin Falls, Idaho. The plan was to stay the night at the Holiday Inn Express. Twin Falls has literally quintupled in size since the last time we were here 3 years ago, according to an officer we spent time with (foreshadowing...). In all the new roads and congestion, I got turned around and a bit lost so I turned off the main drag to do a U turn on a side street when CRASH! A motorcycle that was right behind us went strait while I turned. As far as we know, the guy is doing well. He was taken to the hospital by ambulance as a precaution. The kids are fine and so is Rab. I messed up my left elbow a bit, am hurting, and was pretty shaken up last night. I'm so held in the arms of grace I can't believe it.

Anyway....we'll arrive in Portland tonight (Monday) and look forward to a restful time and hopefully quick repairs of the van at Artistic Autobody. Thank God for USAA insurance - they make stupid mistakes so managable. Thank God for kids who were extremely obedient during the hour after the accident as police took statements and pictures and as ambulances and fire trucks sirened to the scene. Thank God for a husband who was compassionate, tender and loving about the whole debacle. Thank God for the hotel clerk who found us a room when the whole city was booked. Thank God for Fred Meyer nutrition section that had all the items in stock that my sister told me to buy right away (and thank God for sissy too).

This morning I am thanking God not only for the everyday blessings and everything listed above, but also for the relative health that all involved are experiencing. I continue to hold the motorcyclist and his now damaged but previously beautiful bike in my thoughts and prayers and I'm thanking God that nothing more serious occurred. After the accident, pondering that possibility was the scariest part of the whole thing.