Discernment

How does one discern the will of God and the calling of the Holy Spirit? Boy, I wish I had a definitive answer to this question! In the past, one question has aided in the process of discernment: Is the option at hand life-giving or life-draining? The pastor I interviewed with back in May suggested, "When you close your eyes, do you see all kinds of possibilities or do you catch yourself saying, 'Yes, but....' "

Over the years, there have been times it's been clear for me. Honestly, though, the clarity usually comes as a result of hindsight. For example, I've asked myself on and off these last months: "Why am I still waiting for a call?" Then last week, a 15 year old told me I was the only person she could talk to about some rotten and tough things that were going on in her life. She may still think I did her a favor by running over when she called. Truly, though, she invited me to experience holy ground while sitting on her bedroom floor and talking about the sometimes sucky-realities of life.

Or like awhile back when I supplied at that country church. There, I was reminded of the gifts God has lent me to use. There, I was reminded that God does call me to ordained ministry.

Last night, I interviewed at a church. I'm really discerning if I want to be in a pastoral/staff team or in a situation where I'm the only pastor (the term 'solo pastorate' doesn't really jive with my understanding of ministry because we're never really solo in ministry, are we?). A lot of things are clicking and seem like the right fit at this large church. A lot of thoughts and experiences pull me the other direction. I'm not sure where the teeter-totter balances as of yet.

As I discern, I've got friends who hold me accountable, speak truth in love, and send me emails telling me to back up the train and consider the entire range of scenery surrounding the track I'm on. I'm a lucky girl. Thanks for the email, JB.