My sister said this line to me the other day. My 40-something sister. Sadly, it's true. After 43 years of marriage, our parents are in the process of getting divorced. I've held off writing about it because they both occassionally read my blog. Dad thinks 'blog' is a strange word but he reads my blog anyway. Dad has had a heck of a time figuring out how to access it, so I created an AOL icon on his sign in screen. Now I'm just a click away.
My feelings about this whole divorce deal have been a bit strange. I've had a hard time figuring out what I'm supposed to be feeling, what I am feeling, and what I'm supposed to do with whatever I'm feeling. I have to admit, it's difficult to recall my parents ever having a happy marriage. I'm sure that at times they did, but I know it's been a long road for both of them for many years. In many ways, it's not my story to tell so I'll refrain from commentary.
Tonight, TT was talking to my mom on the phone. He's been especially eager to talk to her lately and we just haven't had a chance to call her. On our way home from a medical appointment, we stopped at the school's book fair. Before we went in, I called her to give her some good news (you'll get it later...just wait...another post will follow soon) and some details. TT eagerly took the phone and after sharing Halloween stories, he put it out there:
"Gramma....why are you and Papa getting divorced?"
The urge to rescue my mother appeared as I heard him ask the question. However, as if TT knew this, he went in the back of the van and huddled on the floor of the 3rd row. They had a good 3-5 minute heart-to-heart. She told me later that she thought the question might be coming - TT is very good at letting people know what's on his mind. TT told me later that Mom said she and Papa still loved each other and that they still loved him very much, they just couldn't live together any more.
On the way home from the book fair, TT said, "Mommy, I've been thinking. We have to get Gramma and Papa back together and I have a plan." His plan entails telling Papa to meet us at a store and telling Gramma to meet us at the same store. Once they are both there, we will leave and we will lock them in the store to talk about their feelings. They have to climb over tables and chairs and stuff before they can find the door and they'll have to work together. Also, they can't come out until they decide to stay married.
I said to TT, "I can tell you really want them to stay married." "Yep," he replied. I asked, "How come?" TT responded, "Because, Mommy, if we have to go to California to visit Papa and then to Oregon to visit Gramma, we'll just be going all over the place all the time. If they stay married, we can just visit them in one place and it will be much easier. They need to just live in their one house together where they used to live with Cassie (their deceased cat)."
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