Cert School, days one and two

Shana has told me more than once: never post when drunk, crabby or tired. I must admit I am pretty exhausted, but I think I'll go for it nonetheless. I'm neither drunk nor crabby so I'm at 2 out of 3.

I began cert school on Monday. Day 1 was great. Day 1 included sharing stories and some introductory material. We played some games with funny handshakes and one called Screaming Toes. It was silly, youth-groupy kind of fun.

It was a bit strange and also really great to be up on campus and back in the swing of daily chapel and coffee hour. I know the faculty and staff, about a third of the first year students and all of the 2nd and final year students, so in some ways I felt like I fit right in. However, when I looked around, my class was nowhere to be found and I missed them terribly.

On my way up to campus, I thought I saw my former partner, CG, and I got excited. Then, I realized it was someone else. Sigh. Later on, I thought I heard my friend Liz' voice and I was happy. Then, again, I realized it was someone else. Repeat sigh. [I did, however, listen to Styx Greatest Hits later in the day and I remembered the trip Liz, a bunch of our friends, and I took to the Cities last Spring...listening to that CD was kind of a tribute to her.]

I had to take off around 2 to take TT to vision therapy, so I missed the afternoon session on spirituality. Bummer. Then, as I neared the city where he does vision therapy, I got a speeding ticket. That made me sad. I craved chocolate immediately. And, wouldn't you know it, the assistant to the bishop had chosen the very moment that the officer was handing me the ticket to return the call I'd made to him last Saturday.

Today, cert school was great once again. I brought HoHos so everyone could help me drown my speeding ticket sorrows. Only Daniel obliged - everyone else talked about how they just worked out and shouldn't eat ho hos for breakfast. I like Daniel best now. He and I still eat like we're in college. I guess Mike is ok too - he made fun of everyone who had just worked out and he threw ho hos at them. I like Mike.

The afternoon was great but also tiring. We did activites like passing a hula hoop around a circle as we held hands, getting everyone through a spider web thingy (this involved lifting people+), trust falls, moving a tennis ball connected to strings from point a to point b, getting a ping pong ball to a goal using PVC tubes... all kinds of team building things. It was misty the entire time we were down there. I didn't mind it a bit but I felt for the skinnier ones and the guy from Florida who were cold. We have a great group of people and our personalities seem to mesh well. Of course, there is the inevitable "herding of cats" reality that occurs when you've got a bunch of leaders together, but we are in the Midwest (read this to mean: Midwest Nice) and so far we don't know each other well enough to be disagreeable.

I think the most unexpected thing is the amount of self-awareness the last 2 days has provided. I think of myself as a pretty self-aware person and, over the years, others have agreed with that opinion. However, some loose ends have come together in the last 48 hours that have surprised me. Things like what it means and looks like in action to find my voice and use it and how, if there is no appointed leader, I tend to step back and let others lead first before I step up to do so. If I sense a void of leadership, then I have no problem stepping forward; if others are leading in a way that seems effective, I tend to let 'em lead. (Now...bring it on those of you who've experienced otherwise. I'm all for truthtelling.)

The voice thing is intriguing. One of the people in the group made a comment to the effect of, "Ok. Let's go for this and get it underway and stop talking. Is everyone ok with that?" We all went for it and undertook the task after she said it. Later, as we processed, she said she'd observed how she sought consensus and was a bit critical of her tendency to do so. I spoke up and said I really appreciated her asking for consensus because otherwise I may have resented the "command" to get going. This led to an interesting discussion in which our facilitator said something to the effect of, "Why does someone have to give you your voice? It's yours. Nobody needs to tell you it's ok to disagree or speak up against/in reaction to something." I've heard all the lingo about "finding your voice" for quite a few years now, but somehow the facilitator's statement provided a new angle. I appreciated his comment but was also a bit pissed with myself for once again feeling the need for permission to share my 2 cents in a group...

Enough nearly-CPEing for one day.

Tomorrow we hit the "high ropes" course. Eek!

+ I also like Merry because when we were trying to figure out who to lift up through the highest opening, someone suggested we lift the lightest person. I looked around and said it was her. She looked at me and said it was me. Then she whispered her weight and it was the same as mine...And I had a ho ho at breakfast and she didn't.