A great deal of the decision comes down to the increasingly clearer call to serve in a solo pastorate church. My home Bishop and Regional Director stated such at my approval interview, many of my professors have said the same. Friends and colleagues have often mentioned that a solo pastorate or co-pastorate (co, not senior/associate model) seem like the best fits for who I am and what I bring to ministry. But, for whatever strange and bizarre reason known only possibly to God, the three calls that 2 different synods have pondered for me have all been associate calls.
Being a responsible steward of the gifts God has lent me to use while here on Earth means honoring God's trust in my abilities to use those gifts to their potential. I'm not convinced that this latest church offers that opportunity. A solo pastorate position would offer more opportunities to preach (and we all know how much I like to talk. ha ha). It would offer my independent spirit a bit more freedom, flexibility, and fluidity. Being the only pastor at a church would provide a full range of pastoral experiences and ministry opportunities instead of only a portion and a program area or two.
There are other reasons this one isn't the right fit. A few theological concerns exist but they'd be managable if all else was falling into place. The large size concerns me as I ponder TT, with his anxiety of large facilities and crowds of people, and CH, with his introverted and quiet manner, fitting into the church family. There is no job description and the verbal description seems to shift depending upon who is talking. There are red flags here and there that don't need to be shared in detail for the world to see. But they are there, flying to differing degrees of height.
The Bishop told me this interview would help me discern my call more clearly. I think he might have been hoping for the opposite result. Instead, looks like I'll be frequenting the haunt in the town where I interviewed:
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